Those clothes scattered seemingly at random around the bedroom are actually placed, at the end of a long stressful working day, carefully in specific locations for a particular purpose. It’s just that I can’t always recall exactly for what purpose.

And of course my parents were wrong too when they took issue with the state of my teenage bedroom. It may have looked like a megalomaniac’s junk shop due to me going through a delusional phase and being a bit of a collector but, as teenagers go, I reckon that made me pretty normal. Of course the room will have had that particular teenage boy smell that’ll be familiar to many but it’s my parents fault that they decided to have children and I reckon the boy-smell goes with the territory.

They were particularly mistaken, just like my wife, when they tried to compare their perception of my immediate environment with that of a pigsty. I may be pretty tidy but, when it comes to our porcine friends, I reckon I‘ve a few lessons to learn. And in fact I’ve learnt a lot over the last couple of weeks because I’ve acquired three very real live pigs.

This isn’t something one does on a whim: “You know what Love? I thing I’ll just go and buy a couple of pigs and bung ‘em in the front garden. I never liked those roses anyway”. No, I’ve been thinking about this for some time and the idea’s developed as I’ve travelled around farms here in the North East, and in other parts of the country, looking for ideas for directly sourcing food for the restaurants.

When purchasing our house in Teesdale we were lucky enough to acquire a couple of paddocks attached to it but weren’t sure at first what to do with them. I tried renting them out for people to put horses or sheep on but each deal was never a long term solution and seemed to cause more problems than it solved. After all, I only wanted to keep the grass down.

Then the inspired idea of putting my own sheep on there gave us the double solution of short grass and our own mutton in the restaurants. I can’t wait for autumn but don’t mention it to the sheep.

But, whilst they might taste nice, sheep are not terribly exciting. Sure they add to the landscape as they serenely chew their way around acting as organic grass boxes. And they are quite endearing when they come up to me inquisitively before realising they’re supposed to be scared and running away again. But the most excitement they’ve so far created has been when being chased to be sheared. And that’s it.

But the pigs are different. I have to feed them morning and evening and within days of arriving they learnt to come running when they heard me. And I could sit for hours watching them root their way around the land but it’s this activity that gets them their undeserved reputation for being messy. There’s no doubting that pigs are voracious eaters and they use their snouts to dig up all the foliage including the roots. As a result their feeding area ends up completely bare of vegetation but a little bit of mud doesn’t make them untidy, just messy.

It’s really in doors that they belie their reputation and disprove the generally accepted comparison between untidiness and pigs. They have a small stone-built stable in which to shelter with a straw-covered floor. And you know what? It’s almost spotless in there as if they’ve a cleaner coming in every day. And, you may be amazed to know, it smells infinitely better than a teenage boy’s bedroom.

For chocolate lovers, this week’s dish is easy but also a luxurious way to finish a meal. However, it is worth using a good quality chocolate. In the compote we’ve used a vanilla pod. You could use vanilla essence (but definitely not vanilla flavouring) but, whilst a vanilla pod is expensive, it can be used many times. So, once removed from the dish, rinse and dry it and store it in a jar of castor sugar for future use. Not only can you use the pod again but you also get vanilla-scented sugar.

Serves six

For the chocolate pot:

400ml milk

250ml double cream

200gm chocolate

Four egg yokes

45gm caster sugar

A few drops (half a teaspoon) of vanilla essence - not vanilla flavouring

For the blueberry compote:

200gm blueberries

Juice of one lemon

20gm caster sugar

One whole vanilla pod

Pre-heat the oven to 140°C (gas mark 1).

To cook and serve the chocolate pot you will need six ramekins. First, in a bowl, beat the eggs, sugar and vanilla essence until creamy. Gently heat the milk and cream together in a pan until boiling. Reduce the heat and add the chocolate until it melts. Immediately, pour the milk and cream onto the eggs and sugar, whisking as you do so.

Divide the mixture equally into the ramekins and place them in a roasting dish into which you then pour hot water, half way up the ramekins. Place the roasting tin in the oven and bake until set. How long? It depends on a number of factors but probably around 20 to 30 minutes. Allow to cool.

To make the blueberry compote, place all the ingredients into a pan and, stirring, bring to the boil. Remove the vanilla pod and allow to cool.

To serve, place the chocolate pot onto a plate with, perhaps, some fresh fruit (strawberries are sublime with chocolate) and serve the blueberry compote alongside.

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